Malice in Wonderland

Nightmares

2011-07-16T14:37:00.004+03:00

I got tired of living the dream and came back to my nightmares.
Open every closet door and peak under every bed in this house-
Where are the monsters? Am I not afraid of the dark?
Why don't I miss you
And how come nothing seems as dead as it used to?
In the mirror, all I can see is myself,
When I listen to the voices in my head I smile.
I look at pictures of you and I read between the lines
Of every letter you sent me lately.
Somehow, I don't fit in this dark place anymore,
You have been washed off my skin a long time ago.
Feel free to look for me here,
Set traps to try and catch me again;
I'm not one bit smarter than I was back then.
Just living the dream until a better nightmare comes along...

We

2010-09-28T19:09:00.004+03:00

Perfectly trained animals of prey
and an accident waiting to happen...
We circle the spot where blood was shed,
we sniff and grin at memories too fresh to ignore.
Arching backs, cracking knuckles,
clean paws and dirty fangs.
The victims lay silent, praying for a miracle,
spare no one, kill'em all.
I raise my eyes from the ground,
take a deep, rancid breath
and unleash hell on unsuspecting bystanders...
Where's life, there's hope.
But round here,
we don't care!

A note

2010-08-21T12:41:00.003+03:00

Caught in a world of half and half not's
I ride the waves like demons riding the flames,
Picking myself up, every time I fall.
Taking it day by day I have no hopes left,
Cause I don't need second chances
When I shoot to kill.
I take my fantasies and rip them into pieces,
Burning down my safe place.
Today I'm bringing my fears to life
And they're coming for you.
Now it's time to call in a few favors
And raise hell like I used to.
I trust your door is locked tight
And your bed is fireproof;
There'll be nowhere left to hide.

My war

2010-08-16T14:39:00.002+03:00

Lay down your guns, I’m not here to fight
This is one battle I don’t need to win.
I’ll take off my armor and let you see me naked.
I don’t have secret ways to poison you
And whatever tricks I taught myself,
I will not use today.
Tie me down, if you must
But these teeth that bite deep into your flesh
Will not harm you.
We fought many times, like soldiers,
Like fools,
We know all the rules
And we break them, just the same.
You‘ve given me beautiful scars,
I’ve watched you burn by my hand.
Now here I am,
Between your sheets,
Wide open,
Completely vulnerable.
Hurt me, or kill me
Just take your time with me.
Tomorrow we can always start another war
In my bed,
In my head.

One

2010-08-13T11:21:00.004+03:00

I'm the one with an extra heart on my sleeve
and I'm always honest when I pretend I don't care.
I got fire burning in my eyes when I'm asleep
and I like to keep myself sedated.
For everything I do there's a price
I'm making you pay.
I raise hell with just a word, but
I'm usually the quiet one, in my corner.
In my head, I've killed you a hundred times
and then sold my soul to get you back.
There are many names for what I am,
but I never liked hiding behind one.
You can try to find me, track me down;
I'll always be one step ahead
and never in the shadow.
There's no words to describe me,
still, there is this one little twitch of terror
that always brings me closer
to you all.
I'm unique and there's a million like me out there
just waiting their turn.

The chase

2010-07-24T17:20:00.004+03:00

Back to where the prey becomes the hunter,
we switch places just because we can.
I loaded my weapons long ago,
waiting for you to get in my sight.
It's on
like never before.
I got a taste for blood and
lots of time to kill.
Let's start the chase,
let's take one last look
and try to remember who started this war,
because we both know
I'll win.

Mirrors

2010-06-14T17:41:00.003+03:00

So here I am,
stuck between two mirrors-
one that shows how things really are
and one that distorts everything.
I see myself in both of them,
strong, yet afraid to go on;
paranoid, yet powerful .
Which is the right one?
If I turn off the lights
will I find my own, true self?

My nephew

2010-06-07T15:09:00.004+03:00

Coming home

2010-05-13T20:40:00.005+03:00

" I can hear it calling me the way it used to do
I can hear it calling me back home"

Careful, my fingers following the wall
I am coming back to where I felt safest.
I've been playing with people's minds,
to forget my own.
I believed their words
to erase mine.
I pretended to be myself
to forget my trying to always be
someone else.
I was in the sun and I colored myself pretty,
now it got too boring.
I paid attention to every detail,
but I returned to the chaos I remember.
Created new meanings,
only to blow them to pieces.
I claimed my vengeance,
now I burned down every proof
and I'm coming back.
So open the door
and turn off the light...

still

2010-04-08T21:43:00.004+03:00

I can break your bones with just a breath
and I can make sure you'll never forget
the taste of steel in your mouth.
I can bring the apocalypse
just by parting my lips;
it's not a game when I always win.
I got aces up my sleeve
even when I'm not wearing anything.
You make your move now,
I need to catch my breath
and re-align planets
to match my design.
I'm too careful not to let you see
that behind every mask I wear,
deep down,
I'm still me.

Not easy

2010-03-26T23:08:00.004+02:00

It's not as easy as you think it is-
standing on top of the world,
being the one that actually captures rainbows,
blowing fairy dust in everyone's eyes,
smashing mirrors to see what hides behind,
smoking my last cigarette every day,
plotting against humanity in my bed,
hiding in front of you all,
speaking in tongues because I'm afraid
to state the obvious,
to say what I mean,
to hide what I fear.
It's not easy,
it's a dirty work, i know
but somebody's gotta do it,
right?

Erase

2010-03-21T16:39:00.004+02:00

And just because we don't play
it doesn't mean I can't win...
I know your moves
right before you take the corner,
I feel your breath on the back of my head
when you're miles away-
So let's play.
I will feed you to the beasts
and watch you crawl your way out of hell.
When I'm out there,
better fear me!
I can light you on fire
then offer you a drink.
I can play dead for hours
and have you burry me alive,
just for the thrill of haunting you.
I can make bad look so good,
you don't stand a fucking chance.
I'm me, I'm you
And when I'm done,
I press "erase".

Dark Passenger

2010-02-07T18:06:00.005+02:00

Vampires will never get you
Because your face is just a reflection
In the mirror.
And rain will never wash you off my skin
Because you are not painted,
You are carved
Deep and deeper than deep.
A bullet will never get me
Rid of your memory
Cause you are not real.
I can't wish you away,
You're not a nightmare,
My second skin,
My own dark passenger.

fairy dust

2010-01-27T22:04:00.001+02:00

it's the last time.

just like it was a hundred times before

in a hundred past lives.

i dream my broken dreams in a bed of doubts,

while the rest of you picture yourselves immortal.

the dark rainbows outside my window only come after rain of thoughts.

i gather my words carefully,

i have a special place for the ones that cut you open every time.

they say there's a first for everything,

but i don't know who "they" are.

i mirror the expression on your face as i turn to dust.

it hurts, but i promise

it's the last time

Full circle

2009-08-31T19:18:00.005+03:00

In anul in care pamantul a stat in loc si nimic nu a mai avut sens. In luna in care toate intrebarile si-au gasit raspuns si toate vocile din capul meu au inceput sa vorbeasca aceeasi limba. In saptamana cand intunericul nu a mai insemnat frica sau tacerea nu mai era apasatoare. In noaptea in care monstrii au iesit de sub pat si cosmarurile au fost scrise cu sclipici pe o oglinda, intr-o baie. In clipa in care secretele au fost spuse cu voce tare si nimeni n-a bagat de seama. In casa in care toata cioburile de sticla au fost adunate. In camera unde negrul a devenit culoare si sangele nu pateaza nimic. In patul in care inceputul a avut sfarsitul asteptat de tota lumea. In mintea in care nimic nu rezista tentatiei. In ochii fixati drept inainte. In gura care naste apocalipse sonore zi de zi. Aici, acum.

Time

2009-04-26T20:26:00.002+03:00

...timpul sta in loc. Acele ceasornicului se invart in gol, aburii respiratiei tin loc de cuvinte. Prinse intre doua lumi, Ea si Batrana fac schimb de intrebari si ne-raspunsuri. Fara a se misca din loc, ani regasiti in titluri de carti si romante desuete isi fac loc in mintea Ei. Stie. Fugind de viitorul Ei, isi gaseste locul in trecutul celeilalte. Amintiri ale clipelor pe care nu le-a trait niciodata sunt acum clare in mintea Ei. Fete aparute in vis isi gasesc nume in gndurile Batranei. Cuvinte nestiute au acum un sens, cernute prin vorbe de demult. Temerile Ei sunt regretele din privirea Batranei. Cei pierduti in negura amintirilor sunt cei de care se ascunde acum Ea. Trecutul si viitorul sunt una, intre zidurile gata sa cada ale acestei case. Doua lumi se intalnesc, despartite de un cuvant, secrete si multe raspunsuri sunt ingramadite in valiza pe care o trage dupa Ea. Vremea a incetat sa mai treaca, leganata in scaunul Batranei. E timpul...

Hai ca se poate!

2009-04-05T21:19:00.003+03:00

Trupa Electric Fence, sau ex-Raza, a ajuns pe locul 2 in topul de la Radio Guerrilla. Cel mai inalt new entry de saptamana trecuta, s-a mentinut pe pozitie si saptamana asta. Piesa I'm the biggest star, refuzata la preselectia pentru Eurovision (haha) a intrecut in top alte piese semnate U2, Pet Shop Boys, Oasis sau Parazitii. Puteti aduce piesa pe locul 1 creand un cont pe http://www.radioguerrilla.ro/ si votand Electric Fence.

Daca doriti sa aflati mai multe informatii despre trupa (din care fac si eu parte) vizitati

http://www.myspace.com/electricfenceculture

http://www.sellaband.com/razacom

Scaunul

2009-03-23T19:55:00.003+02:00

Casa aproape daramata, cu ziduri ce odata fusesera martori tacuti la atatea si ferestre infundate cu ziare si carpe, parea neprimitoare si amara. Poarta de metal ruginit era intredeschisa si inauntru se auzea o muzica leganata, de pe vremuri.

Pasind cu bagare de seama, pe jumatate curioasa, pe jumatate tematoare, intra. Femeia, mai batrana decat toate amintirile ei la un loc sedea pe un scaun, si el vechi. Zambind timid, ii spuse batranei povestea ei, nefiind sigura daca o aude, daca o asculta, macar. Ii povesti nopti nedormite, zile intregi ratacite pe strazi intunecate, vorbe si intelesuri ciudate, intalniri si plecari pe ascuns. Cand termina se aseza pe geamantan si scapata de cosmarul de-a fi singura, incepu sa planga. Plangea ani de confuzie, plangea certuri inecate in fum si impacari printre aburi de alcool. Plangea atingeri vinovate si conversatii purtate pe fuga. In sfarsit, plangea.

Femeia din scaunul ei desprins de timp nu spunea nimic. Pe fata ei se citeau propriile nopti si zile, anii care niciodata n-au trecut fara sa lase semne. Uitandu-se la chipul doborat de timp ii vazu ochii, doua margele vii, de o culoare neinventata inca, urmarind-o.

Instant

2009-03-20T22:37:00.003+02:00

Ea: Nascuta din oglinzi sparte si urme de rimel, vineri 13 si trei ceasuri rele. O esenta tare uitata intr-o sticla destupata. Precisa si dusa de val, in acelasi timp predicand iertarea si planuind apocalipse. Roz pe interior dar incolora, nu ia niciodata prizonieri. Inconjurata si solitara. Nu uraste dar dezvolta obsesii, temporar si irevocabil. Citeste trecutul in sufletele nevinovatilor. Creeaza viitor probabil din guma de mestecat si parfum frantuzesc.
El: Pur si simplu acolo. Nu are nici o sansa.

no malice today

2009-03-19T19:40:00.004+02:00

Cateodata as vrea sa dau timpul inapoi. Sa nu fi plecat, sa nu fi vrut mai mult. As vrea sa stiu si acum ce stiam atunci, si sa-mi fie de ajuns. Sa pierd nopti cu tine, ca sa nu-mi pierd mintile singura. Sa fiu ciudata si tu sa te simti normal, langa mine. Era frumos atunci, in intuneric, sa vorbim in fiecare zi si sa nu stiu cine esti.

Acum s-a facut lumina. Am vazut lumea in toata uratenia ei, am inghitit fiecare lacrima nascuta din prea multa cunoastere. Am invatat sa merg pe sarma, fara plasa de siguranta. Am nopti linistite si zile plictisitoare. Am gasit raspunsuri intrebari expirate acum cinci ani. Nu-mi mai pasa. Stiu cum sa atrag atentia cand nici macar nu snut acolo, stiu cum sa fiu invizibila cand se aprind reflectoarele si lumina cade pe langa mine.

Nu am nevoie de otrava ca sa-mi trezesc demonii. Nu mi-e frica de ce am in suflet, n-o sa stiu niciodata ce-i aia trac. Nu ma intereseaza ce crezi, ma simt bine in capul meu.

Imi cumpar multumirea la kilogram, in weekend cu reducere.

Mai departe

2009-03-18T22:56:00.004+02:00

Pe neasteptate, isi ridica sufletul pe jumatate mai gol din baltoace si porni mai departe. Geamantanul plin de regrete devenea din ce in ce mai usor, pentru ca a invatat ceva nou: sa uite. A uitat nume, fete si gesturi. A uitat cuvinte, promisiuni, la un moment dat, noaptea trecuta chiar a uitat sa-si aduca aminte.

Obosita si murdara de atatea ganduri, cu genunchii insangerati din cauza regretelor adunate de pe jos, cazute din valiza si imprastiate in noroi, cu mult prea multe virgule si alte semne de punctuatie inca neinventate, se prabusi asta-noapte in mijlocul strazii. Era pustie, si strada si ea. Oamenii normali erau undeva la adapost, in spatele zidurilor, jucandu-se cu mintile celorlalti... Ea nu se juca deloc, pentru ca nu fusese in stare sa invete nici o regula.

Cu privirea incetosata si cu urechile inca vuind de ganduri noi, astepta. Era sigura ca undeva, de cealalta parte a orasului, cu lumina stinsa, cineva incepea sa-si stearga din memorie chipul ei. Nevoind sa se intoarca in trecut, nici macar cu gandul,hotari sa ramana nemiscata. Incet, parca apasand pe fiecare muschi, cu o durere care nici macar nu mai durea, gandurile trecura mai departe. Cand nu-si mai adusese aminte nici macar numele ei, in sfarsit se ridica.

Era gata sa mearga mai departe.

jumatate mai putin

2009-03-17T22:30:00.002+02:00

Ultimele clipe cu tine, cu nimeni...urmand drumul de caramizi galbene care se grabeste spre nicaieri, in timp ce trag dupa mine o valiza plina de regrete. Pe unele le-am lasat in urma, uitate prin dulap, intre fire de praf. Altele, mai mici si mai ascutite le-am invelit in hartie de ziar invechita de vreme si o sa le car dupa mine. Zi dupa zi, vis dupa vis...

Cu pauze mici, strecurandu-ma printre siluete de carton sau izbind de-a dreptul zidurile in drumul meu, merg mai departe. Privind inapoi, imaginea e mereu alta; in fata mea, filmul viitorului se deruleaza incet, fara subtitrare. Ploaia si ceata, care odata imi dadeau fiori, acum ma fac sa zambesc. Frigul ma face sa grabesc pasul, vocile ma fac sa intorc capul...

Pasind in cadenta pe asfaltul crapat las in urma orase, case, mizerii pe care am ajuns sa le cunosc atat de bine. As fi vrut sa iau cu mine niste fotografii, sa-mi aduc aminte de tine cand o sa stau acolo sus, pe norul meu. As fi vrut sa tin minte glasuri familiare, dar vocile din capul meu nu m-au lasat. ..

Linistea e amagitoare, deja simt in ceafa suflarea noptii. Mi te imaginez mergand langa mine, fumand grabit si tragandu-ma de mana. Acest "nicaieri" e taaaaare departe, acum imi dau seama. E prea tarziu sa ma intorc acum, sigur ai si schimbat incuietorile. N-o sa te sun maine sau peste zece ani, cand voi ajunge acolo unde ti-am zis ca plec. Nici macar n-o sa te pandesc seara, cand iesi in oras si te prefaci ca nu mai stii cine sunt...

Pierduta in ganduri, cu o valiza plina de regrete, un pas mai aproape de nicaieri si cu sufletul mai gol pe jumatate...

2008-05-11T19:34:00.000+03:00

RAZA-Sad Story

2008-05-05T16:32:00.000+03:00

Avem bucuria de a va anunta ca RAZA s-a clasat prima cu piesa "My Neighbour Ghost" in topul unui radio din Olanda in urma voturilor,piesa fiind desemnata cu titlul "Song of the week"!!! .Asta inseamna ca piesa va fi difuzata in heavy timp de o saptamana din doua in doua ore pe SunshineFM LIVE (Groningen, The Netherlands) and Razors Edge Radio Central (Gaylord, MN, USA).Enjoy: http://www.talentcast.nl/playlists.php

Raza and Francis Ford Coppola

2008-04-09T20:47:00.002+03:00

Cea mai noua melodie Raza, "Letters From Their Sky" este foarte apreciata de nimeni altul decat regizorul Francis Ford Coppola. Conform declaratiei dansului, "Letters..." are toate calitatile necesare de a deveni muzica de film.
In alta ordine de idei, trupa Raza este cea mai bine cotata trupa romaneasca pe Sellaband. (www.sellaband.com/razacom) Ascultatori din toata Europa, si nu numai, apreciaza versurile si muzica, realizate la nivel profesionist.

Lavinia Boulescu

temporarily permanent things

2008-01-11T19:39:00.001+02:00

i'm not insane, they think they know,
they think i care, i think i don't.
floating through whatever dreams i have,
reaching out to something i still can't see,
but i try,
and soon enough, because i can,
i'll teach myself to fly.
writing words on the inside of my eyes,
so i can still read
when they decide it's time
to switch off the lights.
they build walls around their thoughts
but i am strong enough to eventually
break down the doors.
you run, screaming your fears to the sky,
and i think i'm tired
so i start another fire.

how i saved myself from drowning

2007-12-29T18:50:00.000+02:00

...and how i saved myself from drowning
you'll never know...

slowly, repeatedly raising my head above the water,
i let out a wild laugh or a terrified scream,
take it as you will.

they thought i was a ghost, unseen, uncalled for-
but ghosts don't tell the truth and open your scars now,
do they?
you wanted me gone, wanted to silence me for good
but somehow, in the middle of the night
i came back, burning down the door
with one touch of my hand.
they took me to see the water, praying the wet abyss would
kill my words and take them under,
really down under.

slowly, repeatedly raising my head above the water,
i let out a wild laugh or a terrified scream,
take it as you will.

...and how i saved myself from drowning
you'll never know...

what do i want?

2007-12-11T16:04:00.001+02:00

i want to hurt you
i want to hurt you so bad,
and the words will bleed out
like never ending excuses.

i want to kill you,
breathe your life away,
steal the dreams
and make a new dream,
for me...

i want to save you,
half dead impression on the sidewalk,
and i, the archangel,
your hope, your life...

...no...

i will leave you here,
lose your scent
and wash away your prints;
but this obsession i have-
won't leave me alone...

...I'll think about it...-

hardened

2007-12-08T20:01:00.001+02:00

do you remember me?
i'm the clay you molded years ago,
i'm the wings that took you far away,
i'm the dream that helped you escape,
i'm the conscience that brought you back-
i am.

can you hear me?
i'm the voice you never had,
i'm the words you couldn't say,
i'm the silence you never rejoiced,
i'm the picture you'll never escape-
i am.

do you feel me?
i'm the future you'll never see,
i'm the sweet taste of revenge you miss,
i'm the forgiveness you'll never be,
i'm the one to take you down-
i am!

dream of smoke

2007-12-07T18:54:00.001+02:00

A song, a memory...
I'm trying hard to find myself.
Trapped in a dream of shapeless endings-

smoke and fire down below,
smoke and sleep.

An instant of awareness,
a lifetime of ignorance,
in my dream-

smoke and flames in my bed,
smoke and sleep.

Eyes piercing through to me,
crawling under my skin
they burn, they heal-

smoke and ashes in my head,
smoke and sleep...

don't wake me up!

kill me, teach me

2007-12-03T21:25:00.001+02:00

"so" i say, staring at the mirror,
"is this what i tried to be?
can it be that easy for my mask to disappear,
and the world i tried to fool
to see the real me?"
scared, angry and almost confused
i hid underneath the words i carefully penned
and hope you didn't see.
now i'm speaking from what others taught me,
afraid to ever think again.
if i can't be me,
if i can't even pretend,
how can you judge,
how can you say what is real?
taking my wisdom from punches i've thrown,
learning to go on from the dust i've bitten,
i pick myself up and ask for more.
break me, kill me, teach me!

war

2007-12-01T13:59:00.001+02:00

it's a battle i can't win,
the horror of it all will eat me alive.
i will die with the knife in my hand,
as long as it has your blood on it.
the paper monsters i've been fighting
these last few months
have left paper cuts
so deep,
so many,
so real.
i hate the wait,
i can't bear to start again, it's crazy,
i'm older,
i'm too young.
deep inside, the concrete walls of my judgment
are falling,
one by one.
i'm back to war,
against paper monsters
and you.

who i am

2007-11-26T22:29:00.001+02:00

tired,
on the verge of trading places
i reconsider painting faces.
lost,
in the middle of a nameless crisis
i submit my protests in the book of lies.
and i go back
so i can be again,
free from prejudice
and hoping to get a new name:
i am Speak,
because i say these words,
i am Fight,
from winning all your wars.
i am who i want to be,
not because i can-
it's what you made of me.

portrait of the artist as a lunatic

2007-11-21T22:44:00.001+02:00

i criticize myself, and go back to the beginning
once every two minutes.
when i'm old enough and
my wings are ready
i'll jump off the building i designed.
stardust on my nails,
fire and brimstone in my veins,
i change my mind
once every two world wars.
call me a genius
or call me at midnight,
i'll save your soul and hold grudges for you.
tired of predicting the end of the world
i take a long pause
and smoke another cigarette,
once every two light years.

don't

2007-11-19T18:59:00.001+02:00

don't worry, i'm slow to react
but i'll come around
and hit you back.
don't miss me, i'm quick to forget
still, somehow i'll get back
my mind.
don't fear me, i'm harmless
but i'll knock
the shit out of you.
don't find me, i'm not here right now,
just wait,
you'll hear me scream your name
when i feel like it.

an aggravation of my own confusion

2007-11-16T19:28:00.002+02:00

the voices in my head are all vacant,
i only hear a mumble,
a whispering crowd confusing me.
i can't tell what's real anymore,
so i wait,
i stop.
running around in circles,
praying for a revelation,
i get dizzy,
i fall.
the voices in my head are on strike,
i can now hear everything out there,
but inside my head i'm lost,
so i wait,
i stop
.

tips on how to...

2007-11-16T19:28:00.001+02:00

"the best things", i say,
"are affordable and you get them at
half price,
when you least expect".
this is a conversation i've been having
with myself for years,
but i still
can't find the point.
cruising between duties,
i pick my favorites
and the rest of them i put them
in a sordid category,
the "i'm too young for this" one.
cracking jokes and heads as i
take over the world,
unknowingly and unaware
of my flaws,
i build my walls,
criticism-proof.
i'm too good for you,
still,
i can teach you a few things about
taking advantage of your own
indifference.
just leave a name and number
and i'll get back to you,
when i get my head out of the clouds.

saturday night drunk monologue

2007-11-10T18:28:00.000+02:00

"How have you been?"

Yes, I hate my voice too.

With your self-sufficient smile,

narrow minded and slightly drunk,

you pass me by,

slowly enough to see my practiced indifference.

If I could, if I had a way with words,

maybe I would have given you

something to dream about.

But, here I am, hiding behind a bottle of beer

and setting my frustration on fire,

pretending I light a cigarette.

I'm speechless,

you're drunk by now-

we'd make such a nice pair,

but I hate the way you look at me.

This is

not good enough,

I'm not drunk enough.

...

Oh, and I don't like your shirt.

me

2007-11-08T13:24:00.000+02:00

me, me ,me

i am me.
and there's nothing you can do about it...
look at me,
as i slow down and hear you talk
about me.
stand up, think out of your box and speak
to me.
i can take everything, i know what you must think
of me.
i know all the words to every song
that you might have written
thinking
of me.
i can give myself up and still
you're not even half
of me.
try harder, and i'll let you fly
with me,
maybe.
blame
me
for what you can't do,
hurt
me
for what they say to you,
you're not me.
we come from the same place,
but
i'm faster and wiser,
catch me.
hold me
down,
i'll give you a head start,
follow me,
observe me,
hate me.
and
when i break the cycle,
miss me.

masks

2007-11-06T13:05:00.000+02:00

here we are, face to face
separated by a wall of probabilities.
and i hide,
searching for my mask,
you can't see me like this.
fragments
of what you remember about me
are scattered on the floor.
i'm tired of this pretending,
because deep inside
i don't give a shit.
take your dreams and pictures,
get out,
i'm not in the mood
and i'm pissed.
can't find my "and how are you" mask.

we

2007-11-01T13:16:00.001+02:00

the shadows are burning,
run as fast as you can,
we can feel you.

in this forgotten place,
with not even a name or a face,
we wait, we sleep.

your fear brings us closer.
we spare no-one,
we rush, we creep.

just a nightmare away,
here we come,
here we are.
...
there we go,
see us leave,
if you dare.

and there was nothing left...

2007-11-01T13:15:00.000+02:00

with every word you say
there comes
the apocalypse.
i don't care much for advice,
so keep your doom
to yourself.
in a crowd, i'll be the one
smiling and avoiding
conversation.
see me to the door
and hope for the worst,
because i'll come back.
it's not a threat,
but a misfortunate fact.

give up

2007-10-24T22:32:00.001+03:00

blow me
to pieces, small pieces.
rip my head off.
put me out of your misery.
it's no big deal, i know.
take away your light,
make me crawl in mud and blood.
give me scars, deep scars.
shed blood,
shed my blood.
see if i care...
break my heart,
break it.
open me and tear me up inside,
have me beg
for mercy.
I'm all yours for the taking.
and when that day might come,
although it never will,
i will
write
no
more.

a date

2007-10-24T19:31:00.001+03:00

clear up my head,
go away, one last time.
we'll meet again tomorrow,
on the edge of the same building,
contemplating infinity.
a bitter smile, carved on the corner of my lips,
it's a mask i can't dispose.
i'll wash the silence off my face,
get new colours for my nightmares.
you go away now,
leave me alone
in my oversaturated universe,
i'm inventing new names
for my old fears,
just to stay busy.
i left the world behind and bought this
-oh so craved for-
peace of mind.
must abuse it for what it's worth,
wait for me there,
i'll soon be out of breath.

memories

2007-07-24T20:18:00.000+03:00

all the filthy things you say to me
when you think no-one is around,
i hear them!
and all the dirt you throw at me when
your life is falling apart,
i feel it!
all the guilty looks on your face,
the pain and anger eating you alive,
i see them!
i can't do anything,
i hide in a corner,
i close my eyes,
i run away,
i'm too young...

never

2007-07-24T20:16:00.000+03:00

i speak my words of silence
to defy you.
speak...speak...speak...
i house flies in my mouth
to inspire you
speak...speak...speak...
i hide worms under my eyelids
to spare you
speak...speak...speak...
i gather dead thoughts inside my head
to abhore you
speak...speak...speak..
.i teach myself to see right through you
and become you
................silence................