Nightmares

I got tired of living the dream and came back to my nightmares.
Open every closet door and peak under every bed in this house-
Where are the monsters? Am I not afraid of the dark?
Why don't I miss you
And how come nothing seems as dead as it used to?
In the mirror, all I can see is myself,
When I listen to the voices in my head I smile.
I look at pictures of you and I read between the lines
Of every letter you sent me lately.
Somehow, I don't fit in this dark place anymore,
You have been washed off my skin a long time ago.
Feel free to look for me here,
Set traps to try and catch me again;
I'm not one bit smarter than I was back then.
Just living the dream until a better nightmare comes along...

We

Perfectly trained animals of prey
and an accident waiting to happen...
We circle the spot where blood was shed,
we sniff and grin at memories too fresh to ignore.
Arching backs, cracking knuckles,
clean paws and dirty fangs.
The victims lay silent, praying for a miracle,
spare no one, kill'em all.
I raise my eyes from the ground,
take a deep, rancid breath
and unleash hell on unsuspecting bystanders...
Where's life, there's hope.
But round here,
we don't care!

A note

Caught in a world of half and half not's
I ride the waves like demons riding the flames,
Picking myself up, every time I fall.
Taking it day by day I have no hopes left,
Cause I don't need second chances
When I shoot to kill.
I take my fantasies and rip them into pieces,
Burning down my safe place.
Today I'm bringing my fears to life
And they're coming for you.
Now it's time to call in a few favors
And raise hell like I used to.
I trust your door is locked tight
And your bed is fireproof;
There'll be nowhere left to hide.

My war

Lay down your guns, I’m not here to fight
This is one battle I don’t need to win.
I’ll take off my armor and let you see me naked.
I don’t have secret ways to poison you
And whatever tricks I taught myself,
I will not use today.
Tie me down, if you must
But these teeth that bite deep into your flesh
Will not harm you.
We fought many times, like soldiers,
Like fools,
We know all the rules
And we break them, just the same.
You‘ve given me beautiful scars,
I’ve watched you burn by my hand.
Now here I am,
Between your sheets,
Wide open,
Completely vulnerable.
Hurt me, or kill me
Just take your time with me.
Tomorrow we can always start another war
In my bed,
In my head.

One

I'm the one with an extra heart on my sleeve
and I'm always honest when I pretend I don't care.
I got fire burning in my eyes when I'm asleep
and I like to keep myself sedated.
For everything I do there's a price
I'm making you pay.
I raise hell with just a word, but
I'm usually the quiet one, in my corner.
In my head, I've killed you a hundred times
and then sold my soul to get you back.
There are many names for what I am,
but I never liked hiding behind one.
You can try to find me, track me down;
I'll always be one step ahead
and never in the shadow.
There's no words to describe me,
still, there is this one little twitch of terror
that always brings me closer
to you all.
I'm unique and there's a million like me out there
just waiting their turn.

The chase

Back to where the prey becomes the hunter,
we switch places just because we can.
I loaded my weapons long ago,
waiting for you to get in my sight.
It's on
like never before.
I got a taste for blood and
lots of time to kill.
Let's start the chase,
let's take one last look
and try to remember who started this war,
because we both know
I'll win.

Mirrors

So here I am,
stuck between two mirrors-
one that shows how things really are
and one that distorts everything.
I see myself in both of them,
strong, yet afraid to go on;
paranoid, yet powerful .
Which is the right one?
If I turn off the lights
will I find my own, true self?

My nephew

Coming home

" I can hear it calling me the way it used to do
I can hear it calling me back home"

Careful, my fingers following the wall
I am coming back to where I felt safest.
I've been playing with people's minds,
to forget my own.
I believed their words
to erase mine.
I pretended to be myself
to forget my trying to always be
someone else.
I was in the sun and I colored myself pretty,
now it got too boring.
I paid attention to every detail,
but I returned to the chaos I remember.
Created new meanings,
only to blow them to pieces.
I claimed my vengeance,
now I burned down every proof
and I'm coming back.
So open the door
and turn off the light...

still

I can break your bones with just a breath
and I can make sure you'll never forget
the taste of steel in your mouth.
I can bring the apocalypse
just by parting my lips;
it's not a game when I always win.
I got aces up my sleeve
even when I'm not wearing anything.
You make your move now,
I need to catch my breath
and re-align planets
to match my design.
I'm too careful not to let you see
that behind every mask I wear,
deep down,
I'm still me.

Not easy

It's not as easy as you think it is-
standing on top of the world,
being the one that actually captures rainbows,
blowing fairy dust in everyone's eyes,
smashing mirrors to see what hides behind,
smoking my last cigarette every day,
plotting against humanity in my bed,
hiding in front of you all,
speaking in tongues because I'm afraid
to state the obvious,
to say what I mean,
to hide what I fear.
It's not easy,
it's a dirty work, i know
but somebody's gotta do it,
right?

Erase

And just because we don't play
it doesn't mean I can't win...
I know your moves
right before you take the corner,
I feel your breath on the back of my head
when you're miles away-
So let's play.
I will feed you to the beasts
and watch you crawl your way out of hell.
When I'm out there,
better fear me!
I can light you on fire
then offer you a drink.
I can play dead for hours
and have you burry me alive,
just for the thrill of haunting you.
I can make bad look so good,
you don't stand a fucking chance.
I'm me, I'm you
And when I'm done,
I press "erase".

Dark Passenger

Vampires will never get you
Because your face is just a reflection
In the mirror.
And rain will never wash you off my skin
Because you are not painted,
You are carved
Deep and deeper than deep.
A bullet will never get me
Rid of your memory
Cause you are not real.
I can't wish you away,
You're not a nightmare,
My second skin,
My own dark passenger.

fairy dust

it's the last time.

just like it was a hundred times before

in a hundred past lives.

i dream my broken dreams in a bed of doubts,

while the rest of you picture yourselves immortal.

the dark rainbows outside my window only come after rain of thoughts.

i gather my words carefully,

i have a special place for the ones that cut you open every time.

they say there's a first for everything,

but i don't know who "they" are.

i mirror the expression on your face as i turn to dust.

it hurts, but i promise

it's the last time

Full circle

In anul in care pamantul a stat in loc si nimic nu a mai avut sens. In luna in care toate intrebarile si-au gasit raspuns si toate vocile din capul meu au inceput sa vorbeasca aceeasi limba. In saptamana cand intunericul nu a mai insemnat frica sau tacerea nu mai era apasatoare. In noaptea in care monstrii au iesit de sub pat si cosmarurile au fost scrise cu sclipici pe o oglinda, intr-o baie. In clipa in care secretele au fost spuse cu voce tare si nimeni n-a bagat de seama. In casa in care toata cioburile de sticla au fost adunate. In camera unde negrul a devenit culoare si sangele nu pateaza nimic. In patul in care inceputul a avut sfarsitul asteptat de tota lumea. In mintea in care nimic nu rezista tentatiei. In ochii fixati drept inainte. In gura care naste apocalipse sonore zi de zi. Aici, acum.

Time

...timpul sta in loc. Acele ceasornicului se invart in gol, aburii respiratiei tin loc de cuvinte. Prinse intre doua lumi, Ea si Batrana fac schimb de intrebari si ne-raspunsuri. Fara a se misca din loc, ani regasiti in titluri de carti si romante desuete isi fac loc in mintea Ei. Stie. Fugind de viitorul Ei, isi gaseste locul in trecutul celeilalte. Amintiri ale clipelor pe care nu le-a trait niciodata sunt acum clare in mintea Ei. Fete aparute in vis isi gasesc nume in gndurile Batranei. Cuvinte nestiute au acum un sens, cernute prin vorbe de demult. Temerile Ei sunt regretele din privirea Batranei. Cei pierduti in negura amintirilor sunt cei de care se ascunde acum Ea. Trecutul si viitorul sunt una, intre zidurile gata sa cada ale acestei case. Doua lumi se intalnesc, despartite de un cuvant, secrete si multe raspunsuri sunt ingramadite in valiza pe care o trage dupa Ea. Vremea a incetat sa mai treaca, leganata in scaunul Batranei. E timpul...

Hai ca se poate!

Trupa Electric Fence, sau ex-Raza, a ajuns pe locul 2 in topul de la Radio Guerrilla. Cel mai inalt new entry de saptamana trecuta, s-a mentinut pe pozitie si saptamana asta. Piesa I'm the biggest star, refuzata la preselectia pentru Eurovision (haha) a intrecut in top alte piese semnate U2, Pet Shop Boys, Oasis sau Parazitii. Puteti aduce piesa pe locul 1 creand un cont pe http://www.radioguerrilla.ro/ si votand Electric Fence.

Daca doriti sa aflati mai multe informatii despre trupa (din care fac si eu parte) vizitati

http://www.myspace.com/electricfenceculture

si

http://www.sellaband.com/razacom

Scaunul

Casa aproape daramata, cu ziduri ce odata fusesera martori tacuti la atatea si ferestre infundate cu ziare si carpe, parea neprimitoare si amara. Poarta de metal ruginit era intredeschisa si inauntru se auzea o muzica leganata, de pe vremuri.

Pasind cu bagare de seama, pe jumatate curioasa, pe jumatate tematoare, intra. Femeia, mai batrana decat toate amintirile ei la un loc sedea pe un scaun, si el vechi. Zambind timid, ii spuse batranei povestea ei, nefiind sigura daca o aude, daca o asculta, macar. Ii povesti nopti nedormite, zile intregi ratacite pe strazi intunecate, vorbe si intelesuri ciudate, intalniri si plecari pe ascuns. Cand termina se aseza pe geamantan si scapata de cosmarul de-a fi singura, incepu sa planga. Plangea ani de confuzie, plangea certuri inecate in fum si impacari printre aburi de alcool. Plangea atingeri vinovate si conversatii purtate pe fuga. In sfarsit, plangea.

Femeia din scaunul ei desprins de timp nu spunea nimic. Pe fata ei se citeau propriile nopti si zile, anii care niciodata n-au trecut fara sa lase semne. Uitandu-se la chipul doborat de timp ii vazu ochii, doua margele vii, de o culoare neinventata inca, urmarind-o.

Instant

Ea: Nascuta din oglinzi sparte si urme de rimel, vineri 13 si trei ceasuri rele. O esenta tare uitata intr-o sticla destupata. Precisa si dusa de val, in acelasi timp predicand iertarea si planuind apocalipse. Roz pe interior dar incolora, nu ia niciodata prizonieri. Inconjurata si solitara. Nu uraste dar dezvolta obsesii, temporar si irevocabil. Citeste trecutul in sufletele nevinovatilor. Creeaza viitor probabil din guma de mestecat si parfum frantuzesc.
El: Pur si simplu acolo. Nu are nici o sansa.

no malice today

Cateodata as vrea sa dau timpul inapoi. Sa nu fi plecat, sa nu fi vrut mai mult. As vrea sa stiu si acum ce stiam atunci, si sa-mi fie de ajuns. Sa pierd nopti cu tine, ca sa nu-mi pierd mintile singura. Sa fiu ciudata si tu sa te simti normal, langa mine. Era frumos atunci, in intuneric, sa vorbim in fiecare zi si sa nu stiu cine esti.

Acum s-a facut lumina. Am vazut lumea in toata uratenia ei, am inghitit fiecare lacrima nascuta din prea multa cunoastere. Am invatat sa merg pe sarma, fara plasa de siguranta. Am nopti linistite si zile plictisitoare. Am gasit raspunsuri intrebari expirate acum cinci ani. Nu-mi mai pasa. Stiu cum sa atrag atentia cand nici macar nu snut acolo, stiu cum sa fiu invizibila cand se aprind reflectoarele si lumina cade pe langa mine.

Nu am nevoie de otrava ca sa-mi trezesc demonii. Nu mi-e frica de ce am in suflet, n-o sa stiu niciodata ce-i aia trac. Nu ma intereseaza ce crezi, ma simt bine in capul meu.

Imi cumpar multumirea la kilogram, in weekend cu reducere.